It hurts when your relationship begins to drown in a sea of miscommunication. When you aren't arguing, you may find yourselves drifting further and further apart in silence. Your relationship might feel unsafe and unstable. One or both of you may recognize that you’re not okay with feeling so dissatisfied and out of your depth.
Has romance been overshadowed by the responsibilities and routines of work and family?
Are you missing the effortless, affectionate connection you and your partner once shared?
Does the time spent apart worry you?
Is the conflict between you troubling?
Do you long for a return to the best of your connection?
It’s tough when things at home seem like they are floundering. Your future suddenly feels uncertain. The communication that was your lifeboat deflates and your emotional energy lags.
Getting to relationship safety will take a new level of commitment and the willingness to seek help.
Why Do You Feel Los,or Disappointed in Your Relationship?
It's normal to question whether the issue lies with your partner or within yourself. During this challenging phase of your relationship, you might be experiencing distress over the struggle to build a happier partnership. You aren’t alone. Couples often feel a sense of disappointment and isolation, even when they are physically together.
So. Why are you in this place? Are you able to put your fingers on the core problems? How well are you communicating? Why do you feel attacked one minute and neglected the next? What obstacles keep you from the fulfilling relationship that others appear to enjoy? Are you the only couple struggling to communicate your needs and desires? Definitely not.
All couples face challenges staying communicative and connected. Despite the happy content on your social media feed or the happily ever afters of our childhoods, maintaining our own relationships can confuse us in ways we never anticipated.
It’s okay to come to this realization. Neither of you deserves to just drift along or drown in discontent. It’s what you do next that matters.
Couples Counseling: Take Measures to Rescue Your Connection
Recognizing that relationship obstacles like miscommunication, hurt, negativity, and unmet needs are normal is a first, positive step. Though your relationship may feel precarious right now, with commitment, intentionality, and guidance, you can still work together. Consider these strategies for building the bond you both want.
Accept Support
Living in a tense, uncertain, unhappy state wears you out. Recognizing that you never really had to do your relationship without support is freeing. Whether you were unprepared, unsupported, or unwilling to get help in the past, seeking out couples counseling now is the life preserver you need. Fresh eyes and an objective voice can breathe new life into your situation.
Avoid Avoidance
Facing what’s bothering you is infinitely more productive. Procrastinating and purposely putting your relationship on the back burner is a sign that fear or poor priorities are well established. Break the pattern of avoiding conflict or meaningful interaction. When you both sign on for the emotional work of relationship recovery, you’ll likely find you can offer each other more compassion and reassurance. There is nothing more loving than not giving up on each other.
Assess Your Communication
Most of us think we’re being clear. We assume our partners “should” know what we mean or how we feel. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. Clarity and compassion are key and a couples counselor can help you obtain them.
Learning to listen and respond more intentionally and respectfully can heal connections mired in misunderstanding. A counselor can reveal problematic patterns and encourage you to articulate your feelings clearly, without judgment or blame. More awareness, healing, and resolution take place as you dispel behaviors, habits, and language that keep your defenses up.
Acknowledge That Timing Matters
Timing is essential. You don’t have to wait to make your relationship work well and last long. Embarking on counseling consistently throughout your relationship can reduce the fear of needing "last resort" therapy in the future. Engaging in couples therapy fully is a proactive, positive, and purposeful way to reestablish connection. Don't wait to regain the happiness and closeness you want.
Are You Ready For Change? Let Couples Counseling Help
The human spirit and loving connections are resilient. Your relationship needn’t sink and love needn’t drown.
The aim now is to pinpoint recurring issues, develop improved communication strategies, and establish healthier relationship patterns. Effective counseling helps deepen intimacy and kickstart the process of rebuilding trust. Building a strong relationship involves learning teachable skills, which couples counseling can provide.
I’m here to help. I’m qualified and experienced. I also offer a safe space to do the work that gets you to your goals. Neither of you will be blamed, shamed, or sent home without the tools to communicate and reconnect. Please read more about couples counseling and reach out for a consultation today. Call (805) 374- 1770 or email me at Linda@lindafisherman.com for compassionate care and support.