It isn’t easy to calm your mind when times are tough. Does it seem that serenity is hard to come by? Do you feel like you're often fearful, anxious, or depressed? Are you often “in your head” ruminating or physically affected by persistently negative thoughts and concerns?

Still, choosing to be calm is crucial.  Why?

Your ability to find happiness, health and relationship satisfaction are often shaped by how well we reduce the mental noise, remain present, and connect with the person who matters most to us.  Consider the following:

Calm renews focus, clarity, and respect for your own needs. 

When we are in distress, we can feel out of control. Feeling out of control can then rob us of productivity, sound judgment, and good decision making.  This is why maintaining your equilibrium is so important. A calm mind is a powerful mind.

The ability to step back and calmly observe our thoughts and actions is vital for learning and growth. It is a productive life skill that helps us acknowledge and honor our emotions without giving ourselves over to them. When we feel more focused and purposeful, we can challenge unproductive self-talk or self-defeating mantras playing in our heads.

Anxiety, anger, frustration, etc. are draining.  Calm and emotional self-regulation, on the other hand, pave the way for clarity rational perspective, learning, positivity, and confidence.

Calm restores health and intimacy.

Stress happens. And our bodies are fully equipped to handle it. Temporarily. Our bodies are not, however, built for the perpetual stresses that accompany pandemic-living, constant grief, and ongoing uncertainty.

Your body needs relief. The normal stress responses that flood the body with hormones like adrenaline and cortisol quickly become abnormal and unhealthy when dread and anxiety remain stuck inside us. Taking measures to calm the mind intentionally is often key for discharging toxic tension and boosting the body's immunity.

Paying attention to your breath routinely, without interference, can help lower the stress hormones circulating in your system. This decreases the wear and tear on your body. Calming your racing thoughts and negativity can head off serious, negative health outcomes like weight trouble, high blood pressure, sexual dysfunction, infection, and more. Moreover, you and your partner may experience an uptick in the desire for physical intimacy too.

Basically, the brain and body must be in sync for either to work optimally. Simply setting aside just 5 minutes alone for individual meditation can be both soothing and restorative for you and your relationship.

Calm fosters comfort and a closer connection to your partner.

In an intimate relationship, stress is a shared experience. When stress is prolonged, partners can start to react to each other in ways that don’t benefit their union. This state of tension may even become the norm. Worse, one or both of you may start to feel like the problem isn't your stress, but the relationship itself. Being willing and able to slow down your thoughts and rein in reactivity can head off misunderstanding and conflict.

Why is this important? Well, just as it is possible to pass stress on to your partner, calm is contagious too.  Finding ways to soothe and relax your mind encourages positive feelings and goodwill. This protects your partner and your connection from unintended hurt or emotional damage. This, in turn, boosts a sense of well-being and relationship satisfaction for you both.

Essentially, calming your mind is an intentional act. Self-awareness and self-care function as key relationship tools. When we are relaxed and self-controlled, our partners see us and hear us. They notice our breath and facial expression. They may mirror our body language and tone of voice. They feel safe to lean into our calm. Soon their own distress starts to fade and you can be there for each other the way you always wanted.

You and your partner can learn to create calm in Couples Counseling.

Calming your mind is an act of kindness to yourself and your partner. One you both need and deserve. When you're calm, communication improves. Encouraging yourself and your partner is easier.  If, however, you find that you are too overwhelmed to calm your mind on your own, therapy is a beneficial next step.  I'm here to help. Please read more about Couples Counseling and contact me soon for a consultation.