Is the weight of living with PTSD so heavy for your loved one that they are often worn out and worn down from trying to manage it? Let alone discuss trauma counseling. Is their trauma often re-experienced or so much a part of them that it actually seems to be tied to their personality or identity? No matter how they try to carry on normally, painful memories and reactivity get in their way. 

It’s hard to witness. It can be even harder not knowing how to help.

Depending on the strength of its grip, PTSD changes your partner, parent, sibling, or friend. Perhaps they seem like a haunted, hurting stranger at times. Perhaps they’ve become controlling or overprotective. And though you only see the PTSD  from the outside, it hurts you too. 

You are likely looking for ways to battle PTSD with your loved one. Thank you for wanting to be there. Your loved one needs you, whether they express it or not.
To really “be there” for your PTSD sufferer, consider being a soft, safe place to land. How?

Allow them to lean on you for reliable peace, stability, and grounded connection. When the battle in their mind necessitates retreat, be the one to call on for solid care and comfort. No contribution is insignificant. Consider the following ways to help:

Trauma Counseling: 5 Supportive Strategies & Solutions To Offer A Loved One With PTSD

1. Notice and respect your loved one’s experience

PTSD convinces your friend or family member that they are perpetually unprepared, incompetent, or out of control. The “on edge”, over-alert, hypervigilant state of your loved one’s mind requires a certain amount of understanding and respect. Try not to exacerbate the turmoil, but do pay attention to it. Encourage calm and quiet. Do your best to help slow things down and foster a safe, accepting environment when you’re together. You can do a great deal of help by just offering help and support without expectations or conditions.

2. Remain committed and available

PTSD sufferers often pull away from those they love. Friends and family members often wonder whether to pursue the relationship or let them go. Rather than force connection or cut it off, simply let your loved one know you are available. Remind them that they never have to be alone. Whether your loved one expresses the need to talk or not, connection is crucial. Check in, listen when they share, or simply wait patiently in a doctor’s office with them as they seek treatment.

Provide a sense of belonging and solid support. That said, if you sense that self-harm or suicide is a concern, take action immediately. Seek help from a professional as soon as possible. 

3. Watch your words well

Your loved one lives in a delicate place. Environmental triggers, flashbacks, edginess, and depression can feel much worse if those they love are unconsciously demanding, insensitive, judgmental, or unkind. Your words and behavior matter.  Take care to think carefully and speak compassionately. The impact of a comment like “you’ll get over it” or even “I know how you feel” may be stronger than you realize. PTSD is intense and personal. Try to be aware of how your words might validate or invalidate your loved one’s experience. It may be a good idea to focus on listening more and sharing less right now.

4. Nurture a sense of normalcy

Again, PTSD can be intense and exhausting. Your loved one’s emotions and sensory experience can be unrelenting at times. You can be a buffer and a crucial part of providing some normalcy and consistency. If you can, be the person who shares a simple routine. Grab a daily cup of coffee, a shopping trip, or walk to the park together. The world may seem less overwhelming if your loved one can look forward to a safe, regular activity with a reliable friend. 

5. Acknowledge your needs too

Being there the way your hurting loved one requires is vital. And to do that, you may find you need some support too. To be the most help to your loved one, you need to meet your own physical and emotional needs. Be intentional about making space for your own life and interests. Do not feel guilty for needing a break. You can support a loved one suffering from PTSD without endangering your well-being or losing yourself in their experience.

Trauma Counseling: How Therapy Helps Heal Unprocessed Trauma

Don’t be afraid to reach out to a qualified therapist who can help you both get the care and resources you’ll need to put trauma in its place. Therapy is a productive way to start the process of full recovery from PTSD. There is no shame in pursuing professional help. Trauma counseling offers clarity, compassion, and the means for making meaningful changes in your life.

Let’s take the next step together. I am skilled and qualified to help healing happen. Please read more about my Trauma Counseling services. Contact me for a consultation soon. Feel free to call (805) 374-1770 or email me at Linda@lindafisherman.com for compassionate care and support.