Confidence is one of the first casualties of trauma. 

You lose confidence in the world, relationships, and the idea of security. And what’s more frustrating and confusing? The confidence you lose in yourself.

Do you ask yourself whether you’re up to the demands of life? Do you feel capable of handling relationships? Are you able to make the right decisions for yourself? Are you self-assured enough to let your chosen actions stand?

If not, your self-confidence may be so deeply impacted by trauma that attempts to boost it are ineffective or short-lived. Don't give up. It's just time for a new approach.

Let’s look specifically at how trauma affects your self-confidence and what to do about it:

Trauma Treatment: Trauma and Self-confidence

• Trauma undermines who you believe you are. You may find that you question your values, relationships, and worth.

If your trauma has left you feeling isolated, invalidated, or struggling for a sense of yourself, knowing what matters to you may seem hard to pin down. Perhaps a trauma early in life may have always lived with a sense of unworthiness, low self-esteem, or confusion. Meeting your needs, compared to the needs of others, may feel uncomfortable, even “wrong”.

• Do you question your abilities and willingness to take action? Trauma undermines what you believe you can do.

One of the most terrifying aspects of trauma is that it leaves you feeling out of control. As you reflect on it,  anxiety about whether you can prevent that level of insecurity may stifle you. You may feel vulnerable, angry, or withdrawn because you’re unsure you can take care of yourself and your loved ones.

• Do you find that you question your judgment in general? Trauma undermines what you believe you know.

Sometimes trauma robs you of the the opportunity to make your own choices or test your own judgment. The pain of your experience may lead to revisiting and second-guessing your choices. It's not unusual to feel overwhelmed by decisions that seem to carry an enormous amount of weight.

When trauma creates self-confidence issues, it may be time for a change. 

Trauma Treatment: Repairing Self-confidence After Trauma

How can you improve your self-confidence practically? Consider doing these things that empower and connect you to others:

• Seek help. Regular sessions with a therapist can help you work through aspects of trauma that stifle your confidence. In a safe, supportive environment, you can start overcoming negative beliefs. Together you can develop healthier decision-making, goal-setting, and relationship-building.

• Take responsibility. Changing your behavior is a huge step to improving your self-confidence. Start small, weigh the guidance you’re given and the influences in your life. It’s okay and healthy to make only the choices you're prepared to make, when you are ready. This can help you move confidently in your choices. The goal is to feel supported by others, not dependent on them.

• Try new things. Allow your brain to develop new connections and networks beyond those formed through trauma. The past may so inform your confidence that it requires new experiences to increase your sense of accomplishment and capability. Try to commit to one or two new activities a week. This may stimulate new ways of seeing yourself and what you can do. 

• Rediscover your body. Past abuse, a tragic accident, or a prolonged medical condition can upset your connection to your own body. Spend time learning to appreciate it. Focus on your breath and each part of your body. Patiently learn how your body works best and how it feels to be in control. Be intentional about exercise, sleep, and eating well. Permit yourself to enjoy your body and its capabilities. Prioritize caring for it well.

• Advocate for yourself. There is no shame in seeking out what you want and deserve. It is often empowering to set limits and communicate your boundaries. Your self-confidence will increase each time you act in your own best interest.

Trauma Treatment: Take the Next Step

Therapy serves as a constructive step towards achieving the desired relationship. Seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of. Trauma treatment provides support, empathy, and a pathway to address your experience in lasting ways.

Are you ready to take the next step together? I am here for you, experienced and qualified to help you heal. Please read more about our Trauma Treatment services. Contact me for a consultation soon.